Sunday, August 30, 2015
BICYCLE THEFT
BICYCLE THEFT
.
A kid went to the police to report about his lost
bicycle this morning...
.
KID: My new bicycle has been stolen!
.
POLICE: When did you notice?
.
KID: This morning.
.
POLICE: Do you have a suspect?
.
KID: Yes, my mum and dad.
.
POLICE: Why do you suspect them?
.
KID: Yesterday at midnight, I heard mum say,
"Make it stand so I can sit on it very well." and
dad said, "Climb up fast before it falls." I then
heard mum say, "Push Slowly, don't hurt me!"
.
POLICE: (laughing uncontrollably)Go back home
kid, I'm sure they've returned it
Mc funnyakpos say something about himself
&
Owner of Funnyakpos Graphics
Mcfunnyakpos has try to raise up few Comedians through his career that have move him far, to us we see him as a swaggerlicious Comedian for the Lord that radicate the audience through Gospel joke
EXCUSE ME LAUGH COMEDY SHOW
ONE MIC WITH THE PRINCE
EXCESS LAUGH
and many more
Remember he has hosted 3 successful show mentioned below :
Mc Funnyakpos Cfcr is his name he do talk for a living
✴comedian
✴MC
✴Presenter
✴Actor
✴Event mgt
Graphic designer
Twitter @funny_akpos1
Instagram McFunnyakpos
Facebook mcfunnyakpos Cfcr

Saturday, August 29, 2015
7 Die In NAF Helicopter Crash In Kaduna
A Nigerian Air Force helicopter has crashed at the old site of the National Defence Academy (NDA) in Kaduna channels television has confirmed
It is believed that the helicopter has seven people on board. Though emergency officials are already performing search and rescue operations, it is not known if there were survivors or casualties
The plane which fell between two houses in the Cantonment, consumed one of the houses as it went up in flames on impact.
The plane, Donnia 228 was on a routine mission to Abuja from Kaduna.
The site of the crash has been cordoned off by military personnel who stopped people from getting close.
Spokesperson of 1 Division headquarters of the Nigerian Army, Colonel Abdul Usman confirmed the incident and the number of casualties.
[news]Olamide, Patoranking, Kiss Daniel Others Battle For Plot Of Land In Lekki
Olamide, Adekunle Gold, Patoranking and other stars are up to win a plot of land at the Beat of Lagos concert.
Handlers of the annual Beat Of Lagos Concert have announced this as another form of excitement for this year’s edition of the event.
As part of this year’s event, organizers of the award have announced that the winner of the ‘Beat of Lagos Award’ initiated during the 2014 edition of the event will smile home with a plot of land situated in Lekki, Lagos.
Billed to hold on Sunday, August 30, 2015 at the posh Federal Palace Hotel, Lagos, this year’s edition will feature performances from music stars such as M.I Abaga, Ice Prince, Jesse Jagz, Ruby Gyang, Victoria Kimani, DJ Caise and many others.
The award was won last year by Mavin Records’ ‘Dorobucci’ after fans voted the songs as the best for the year 2014.
Friday, August 28, 2015
(Jokes) Akpos was sent back to the village
Akpos was sent back to the village from Ajegule
because he was so addicted to smokin indian
hemp.
One day his friends asked him to follow them to
rabbit hunt.
They asked him to stay at one end of the hole to
catch the rabbit while they dig from the other
end.
His friends dug for hours and got to the end
where Akpos stood without seeing any rabbit.
They asked him,
"Akpos, didn't you see anything run out of this
hole?"
He replied, "dat tin weh una d look for e be like
pusy cat?
"Yes" they replied.
Akpos: e get tail."
"Yes" they answered..
Akpos: ooo e don carry em children run since...
(Stories) Facebook friends
You heard of Facebook, you quickly open an
account with it, because of the joy of meeting
new and fresh friends. Suddenly, a guy sends you
a friend request. You confirmed him immediately
on Facebook wall. He checks your pictures. He
inboxes you. You reply, all excited. You'll want to
hook up. Set a date . You dress up, smell good,
make up on, fresh breath & new weave . He takes
you for lunch at KFC. You two have a good time.
He rubs your hand, makes you laugh, gives you a
looks and smiles . You fall in love . It's like
you've known him forever. He takes you to his
apartment . He makes you feel comfortable And
lays you on his bed. He rubs it gently , kiss you
passionately. Unzip your jeans, they're too tight
but he manages to take em' off. You love his
aggression, strength, power & you give in. It feels
good. You know it's wrong, but it feels good. You
ask for protection, he says it's too late. You obey
& don't disturb. He says he loves you & you don't
hesitate to say you love him too. He pulls out, go
to the kitchen to get a glass of Water. He helps
you drink it, ohh man. You feel special . " He
must be the one " , you think to yourself. You'll
get dressed. He takes you to the taxi rank &
kisses you on the cheek & say " I had a great time
, you smile & say " See you tomorrow babe ". He
stays silent. You drive away, in the taxi you can't
stop smiling. You get home & in box him that you
got home safe. He is online, but doesn't reply.
It's unlike him, so you in box him again. He
doesn't respond. Minutes later you can't find him
on your friend list. HE BLOCKED YOU. Days,
weeks, months passes by. You start feeling sick,
weak, loose weight, act strange with sores in your
mouth. You go to the clinic. Get tested. Minutes
later, nurse walks in. " I'm sorry. You're HIV
Postive ". HOW? You don't understand. Reality
hits you. You walk home. Scared. Confused. You
go to the train railway. You lay, hopeless,
emotionless. You see the train coming nearer.
You look into the sky & hum some prayer. BOOM!
That's the end of you. Don't be that girl! Live
wise. May this never be your portion for those of
you who are reading this, especially our ladies, in
Jesus name. Type Amen and please share or
invite others to learn from this.
(Jokes) Akpos the house boy
Akpos the house help, entered Madam's room
without knocking.
MADAM: Akpos, this is wrong, what if I was
naked or dressing up?
AKPOS: That can never happen, madam.
MADAM: How can you be so sure?
AKPOS: I always peep first and if you are naked,
I'll just wait and watch until you have dressed up
before I enter.
Akpos is currently in the emergency room of a
general hospital.
(News) BUHARI'S NEW APPOINTMENTS
President Muhammadu Buhari has approved the
following appointments:
Babachir David Lawal – Secretary to the
Government of the Federation
Abba Kyari – Chief of Staff to the President
Col. Hameed Ibrahim Ali (rtd.) – Comptroller-Gen
eral, Nigerian Customs Service
Kure Martin Abeshi – Comptroller-General,
Nigerian Immigration Service
Senator Ita S.J. Enang – SSA to the President on
National Assembly Matters (Senate)
Hon. Suleiman A. Kawu – SSA to the President
on National Assembly Matters (House of
Representatives)
The appointments are with effect from today,
August 27, 2015.
Lawal, the new Secretary to the Government of
the Federation hails from Hong Local Government
Area, Adamawa State. He graduated from the
Ahmadu Bello University, Zaria in 1979 with a
Bachelor of Engineering Degree and worked with
the Delta Steel Company, Aladja, Nigerian External
Telecommunications Limited and Data Sciences
Limited before establishing his own ICT and
Telecommunications consulting firm in 1990. He
is also a member of the Nigeria Computer
Society, the Nigeria Society of Engineers and the
Council for the Regulation of Engineering in
Nigeria.
Abba Kyari, the new Chief of Staff to the
President holds Bachelors and Masters Degrees
from the University of Cambridge and the
University of Warwick in Law and Sociology. He
has worked with the New Nigeria Development
Company, New Africa Holdings, African
International Bank, United Bank for Africa,
Unilever, and Mobil in various capacities over the
years.
The new Comptroller-General of Customs, Col. Ali,
holds Bachelors and Masters Degrees in
Criminology. He was military administrator of
Kaduna State from 1996 to 1998.
The new Comptroller- General of Immigration, Mr.
Abeshi hails from Nasarawa State. He joined the
Nigerian Immigration Service in 1989 as an
Assistant Comptroller. His educational
qualifications include a Masters Degree in Public
Administration.
Femi Adesina
Special Adviser to the President
(Media & Publicity)
(Jokes) WAEC result
A Boy traveled to Lagos after his WAEC result
was out so that his Uncle will help him get
admission into the University of Lagos to study
medicine and become a medical doctor.
The following conversation came up:
Boy: Uncle, I learnt it's difficult to gain admission
into the university these days except you are
well connected
Uncle: That's true.
Boy: Since you are connected, I came to ask you
if you can help me get admission into the
university after my JAMB Uncle: That's true..am
connected and I will help u
Boy: Thank you Uncle
Uncle: You're welcome...so how is your result, is
it WAEC or NECO and how many credits did you
get?
Boy: Uncle, it's WAEC, I had only two credits in
agric and Yoruba
language but I failed the rest
Uncle: Well, that's not bad, you can still be a
doctor, not a medical doctor really but native
doctor(babalawo)...You will use your credit in
agric in collecting herbs from the forest, and
Yoruba language for incantations.
Don't laugh alone..... share pals
Thursday, August 27, 2015
Saturday, August 22, 2015
Police warn youths against fake recruitment
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